Taking Action (Cont.)
Another action-orientated approach is to go for women who you ordinarily would not be attracted to – a different type. For example, you may only like blondes. But if you have been unsuccessful in meeting blondes, why not go for brunettes – you may be pleasantly surprised how narrow minded you have been. Maybe you have only approach fashion plates. Why not try out a woman who is a little out-dated in her dress. You may find that you really like her and could buy a couple of outfits that you like on her (if she is receptive, of course, to this idea). Try a scholarly looking female for a change, see if your luck changes. Experiment with different types until you succeed. To do this you may have to change your regular bar stops. By going to different bars you may find a greater variety of women which will increase your chances of meeting someone different.
Let’s switch gears here for a minute. Let’s say you have picked out a woman you would like to meet and would prefer to start a conversation with her as opposed to asking her to dance. Let’s further say that you are tongue tied and do not know what to say. This is where keen observation and listening skills come into play. Try to notice something about her that makes her stand out from the rest of the women, something unusual. Look at her clothing, her walk, her features, her friends, her mannerisms, her jewelry, her drink. Does she look foreign or sophisticated? Try to find something interesting about her. Think of a way to humor her or complement her in a genuine way. Do not dwell on and worry about your first statement or question to her. You don’t have to make a 5 or 10 minute sales pitch on yourself. Approach her as a person with feelings and emotion who wants to meet a man. Conversations, by definition, are two-way streets – one listens, one talks. You do not have to be the one that talks 90 percent of the time. Often times good listeners are considered to be good conversationalists although they may not say much. You will be much more successful with her by just saying something spontaneous than agonizing over a first “good line.” Many men feel that to impress a woman you must be a great “bullshit artist” who can easily talk about their own business, land in Florida, Mercedes or sports accomplishments. Nothing could be further from the truth – don’t you think the woman would realize that all he said was bullshit and become turned off. You are much better off gearing your conversation towards getting to know her, having a nice give and take conversation, and forgetting about “bullshitting her.”
Approach the whole idea of talking to a woman like you are conversing with a friend. Women are people with feelings, desires, and faults also. Do not put them up on a pedestal, no matter how beautiful or intelligent. Look at them as equals and treat them as such and you will be much more successful. Women realize that it can be difficult to start a conversation with someone new, and therefore realize that the most intelligent, well thought out statement is probably not your first one, and poorly executed first statements may be just initial nervousness. The first hurdle to get over is the opening statement to her. Do not worry about it – say what is on your mind – be spontaneous. There is always time to restate or clarify it later on in the conversation. Tell her that you find it difficult to start a conversation with a new person – they will appreciate it if you say it like you mean it. It could also put them at ease also – they might be nervous meeting new people also. There are so many men who believe the opening remark is the most important, most rewarding, and most scrutinized saying by women – this is not true. Just say anything that comes to your head, if it sounds corny just laugh it off. Also, do not view meeting each woman you approach as the last and only. There are millions of fish in the sea, and if one doesn’t appreciate you, there are others who will.
In a given bar, you are almost assured of meeting women who are difficult to deal with. There are bitches everywhere, expect to run into quite a few of them. You are going to have to develop a mind set which says that some percentage (might be high some nights, low others) of the women you attempt to start conversations with will make it difficult by being unbelievably rude, crude, insensitive, immature, drunk, sarcastic, conceited, unpredictable, weird, stupid, on drugs, have a boyfriend, hate men, are asexual, bisexual, narcissistic, only talk to people they know, barflys, regulars, like only beach boys and bartenders, just broke up with their boyfriend, just went through a divorce, bikers, rich bitches, groupies, disco ducks, body builders, bookworms, have herpes, and just plain do not like your looks. Learn to recognize instantly that it may not be worth meeting one of these types if she is giving you a hard time. Move on quickly to someone else – this will ease the pain a lot more rather than banging your head against the wall all night. There are lots of women who may not particularly like you, and will inform you at 2:00 a.m. that they have a boyfriend, after you have spent $35 on drinks for her. The message here is to be very aware of how your conversation is going – if she is being difficult, move on – say you will see her later.
Do not let the fact that there are bitches out there scare you off. There are too many nice women in the world for you to give up on them – do not forget this. When you approach a woman, think that there is a 90 percent chance that she is nice, and just have in the back of your mind the fact that there is a 10 percent chance she is not so nice. In this way, you will put things into a proper perspective and you will not shy away from meeting women.
In the course of your bar travels you certainly will meet women who are fun loving, cute, fun to be with, intelligent, anxious to meet men, love men, sexy, good conversationalists, lively, interesting, nice, gently, normal, maybe a little high, have no diseases, a little envious, shy, trendy but not too trendy, are receptive to your advances, horny, affectionate, and all the things you would want in a woman. There are lots and lots of your type women to be met, so concentrate on that and believe it! You will certainly run into snakes once in a while, but when you reach your garden, it will be all worth it. Don’t think it is worth a few embarrassing rejections to meet a women you can really have a good time with? Your prior rejections with other women will soon be forgotten with the fun you will be having with your new friend. Always think positive and keep good thoughts in your mind, and things will happen as long as you take action! Think about all the good that can happen – this is the great motivator.
