Prospecting
Identifying good prospects or women you would like to meet is a very important and useful activity in a bar. Everybody does some prospecting or exploring at the clubs, but I would like to suggest that this activity be a little more specific. Often times, if we are anxious, we may tend to approach the wrong women for us in our haste to make a connection. This can be a waste of time for both you and her if you constantly approach women who really are not your type. It pays to take the time to scan the entire bar each night to make sure you have seen and been seen by all or most of the women. In this way you may make a better choice of women to meet; not only the ones that you are attracted to, but also the women that find you attractive.
If you were buying a car, you probably would not buy the first car you saw. You would more likely look at a variety of cars analyzing such things as competitive prices, colors, options, and then deciding which car is the most desirable choice for you. The same process should be used when deciding upon which woman you would like to approach. You would analyze the women in the bar, reviewing such things as looks, dress, aromas, moods, location in bar, and vibes they give off. Then choose the ones that appeal to you the most.
When prospecting in bars, there are lots of things that you should be observation and analyzing. Good prospecting demands good use of your observations and listening powers. It also involves sending out subtle or not so subtle messages indicating your interest in women you are attracted to. Bring the process down to earth. Picture the women with whom you would feel most comfortable talking to. Imagine how these women (the ones you see yourself getting along with) would be dressed, what kind of hairstyle would they have, how old, what kind of body, what kind of posture and motions do they have, etc., etc. Next, try to spot this kind of woman in the bar that night – really look around for her even in the dark corners. Depending on how high your standards are, you may or may not be able to find this ideal woman that night. If you can’t find her, you may be faced with changing your standards, or checking out another bar. Obviously, your choice would depend on your goal for the evening. Checking out other bars could be expensive (cover charges) and time-wasting (traffic, lines at the door), but it may be worth it if the bars you have been to are not turning up what you are looking for.
Let’s say you decide to stay at a given bar. Pick out a few women that appeal to you. Walk by them and try to get a sense for what they are like through listening to what they are talking about to their friend, observing them, their mannerisms, noting the strength of their perfume, and their reaction to you looking at them (do they smile at you, look away, etc.). What you are doing is gathering information much like a salesman would in determining the likelihood of making a sale. The more information you can gather, the easier it will be for you to compare this knowledge to your prior successes with women and make a judgment as to whether to proceed or not. You will probably find that over time you will have more or less luck with certain types of women. You will want to prospect for the types you have had the most luck with based on past experience or gut feel.
Before you even approach women you can often tell how receptive they are to you. You can try a couple of things to test out their reaction to you without speaking. Really look them right in the eyes for a few seconds – see what happens – do they look back? Smile at them – do they continue to face you, turn their back to you, walk away? The more a woman is receptive to your non-speaking, early advances, the easier it will be for you to meet them and start a conversation. Really try to notice subtle or not so subtle positive or negative cues that a woman gives off. Without even speaking to her you will be able to size up your chances of getting acquainted with her. Always look for pleasant, responsive smiles or looks from women and react to them accordingly. Most of the time men will make the move to meet the woman, but she can certainly make it a lot easier with a nice, preconversation, come hither smile or look.
